Parenting Kids and Teens

Parenting Kids and Teens

How can we parent our kids and teens better? I think the answer lies in allowing our kids to have more choices, not fewer. We want to empower our kids and teens to make better choices for themselves, and this does not happen by wrapping them up in a cocoon. Here's an example of something that hopefully will cause you to rethink some of your parenting strategies:

My mother and her sister were both given cigarettes at age six and eleven. Mum will not smoke now but her sister became a chain smoker from that experience. I think their father made a huge mistake, nevertheless he was trying to put them off smoking and knew no other way. Imagine if he had done what I have done with my teenagers:

I have always said to my kids, if you ever want to try out smoking, just let me know and we will sit down together so you can try one. Now, hear me out. This is my logic. The child who wants to try a cigarette will try one regardless of whether you agree or not. If you say no they will simply do it behind your back. That's what kids do.

What if you were to let your child know that it is OK to want to try it out, but that you would prefer them to try it out in your presence? Doing this takes away the peer pressure that most kids face nowadays, leaving your child to make an educated choice without any pressure from anyone. Don't you see the value in that?

The goal of parenting is to help your children learn to make great choices in life and when their friends are not pressuring them, they have the best chance to do this. Parents, you need to let your child know that it is OK to want to have a cigarette, but that they should bring their request to you. Believe me, this will save you from heart ache.

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